Waiting All My Life
by purplepagoda
Summary: After their falling out, Jane, and Maura meet each other in the last place either of them ever expect to be. Will it lead them down an unexpected path, together?
1. Wrong Place

The weather outside is terrible. It's the third week in January, and unseasonably warm. Instead of snow, Boston faces a torrential downpour. Very few cars are on the road, as the thunder booms, and the lightning strikes.

As she drives towards downtown she looks up at the sky. It's dark, nearly black, and filled with clouds. She shakes her head, and tries not the think about the weather reflecting her current emotional state. Within her is a brewing tempest, of the most destructive kind.

Her best friend drives, from the other side of town. She curses the weather, and the lousy drivers in front of her, making her late. She grips the steering wheel, as she attempts to make it to her destination on time. She tries not to think too much, about the situation, only focusing on the road in front of her, the literal road. She slows down, to meet the red light in front of her.

Maura pulls into the parking lot. On such a grey, rainy day, most parking spaces, and lots are nearly vacant. This one is surprisingly full. She pulls her hood up, and climbs out of the car. She slams the door behind her. It beeps as she locks it. She doesn't wear her usual attire. Instead of heels she wears sneakers. Instead of a dress, she dons athletic wear. Instead hair done to perfection, she wears a loose braid.

She pulls into a parking space, and glares at the clock. She bangs the steering wheel once, for good measure. In frustration she climbs out of the car. As her feet hit the wet pavement her shoes squeak. She makes a beeline for the building in front of her. She looks at her watch, as she heads to the door, grumbling to herself about the slow drivers making her late.

Maura fills out some paperwork, and takes a seat in the waiting area She sighs in relief, that she doesn't have to wait with the _others_, for long. She makes eye contact with no one. She tosses down her well read magazine, on to the coffee table, and follows the woman dressed in blue through a door into a hallway.

Jane bitterly takes the paperwork from the receptionist. She takes a seat in an uncomfortable chair, with her clipboard, and ink pen. She glances up for a moment, at the people sitting around the room. Most faces younger than hers, a few even older. None of them make eye contact. They all busy themselves, with something, anything else. Jane's eyes quickly flit back to her own busy work. She slowly, painstakingly fills out the paperwork.

Thoughts fly around her head. She wishes someone, anyone were here with her. She wishes that she could tell someone, especially her best friend. But, for weeks, almost a month now, Maura would not speak to her, unless it pertained to work. Right now what she needed most was Maura's rational, level-headedness, to remind her that this was ok.

She stares at the room, the instruments, the paper attire. Her heart begins to race, and her stomach twists into knots. She staves off the urge to throw up. She stares at the heavy wood door, in front of her. She listens to the clock tick on the wall. For a brief second she asks herself how she got here. She needs a friend, someone to give her advise, but she pushed away her one friend, so now she has to face this alone. She hops down, and bolts for the door.

Jane hears someone racing down the hallway. She looks up, as she comes through the doorway. Their eyes meet, and they both freeze. Maura hesitates for only a moment, and then continues. She races out the door. She steps out into the rain, and runs to her car.

Jane hands the papers back to the receptionist. She follows Maura out the door. As she steps out the door of the clinic she sees Maura across the parking lot, at her car. Jane races to the car.

Maura tries to get her car unlocked, afraid to face her best friend. Unwilling to talk to her, or even look at her. Her hands shake, and she drops the keys. She bends down to pick them up. Suddenly she wonders why Jane was there in the first place. She swallows hard, and picks the keys up off the cold wet ground. The footsteps stop.

Jane's eyes meet Maura's. For a moment neither of them say anything. Jane just stares at Maura. Maura stares back.

Jane swallows hard, "What are you doing here?"

Mara shakes her head, "I don't know," her voice trembles. She looks as if she's on the verge of tears.

"Oh," is all Jane manages to get out.

"What are you doing here?" Maura questions.

"I..." Jane tries to formulate a good lie, "I wish I had a good answer for that."

"I don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"Any of this," Maura replies.

"You're still mad at me?"

"Yes."

"But?"

"I think we should find somewhere to talk."

"Like lunch?" Jane suggests.

"Somewhere private."

"Ok," Jane nods, in agreement.


	2. Wrong Time

Maura follows Jane into her apartment. Jane takes a seat on the couch, as Maura closes the door. Maura stops at the end of the couch. She stares at Jane, coldly.

"Have a seat," Jane offers.

Maura nods, and takes a seat on the couch. They stare at each other, neither of them wanting to be the one to start the conversation.

"You looked upset, when you left," Jane begins.

"I was."

"I'm sorry."

"You had nothing to do with it."

"I meant, for what I did. I made a mistake."

"I don't want to talk about that right now. It's not on my list of priorities."

"You left in a hurry," Jane adds.

"Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room, or not?" Maura asks bluntly.

"I'm not sure that I want to."

"I'm not sure that I do, either," Maura admits.

"But maybe we should," Jane suggests.

"Why were you at an abortion clinic?" Maura pushes past the emotions, to ask the question, on both of their minds.

"The same reason that most people are there for."

"Oh," Maura responds.

"You?" Jane wonders.

"The same."

"Oh."

"Jane..." Maura begins.

"How was it?"

"Was what?"

"Um..." Jane trails off.

"Oh."

"How long did it take?"

"I didn't do it," Maura reveals.

"Oh. Maura, you're my best friend, or were..."

"I missed you too. I needed someone to talk to."

"I'm right here, so talk."

"You first," Maura begs.

"I'm pregnant," Jane admits.

"When did you find out?"

"Two days ago, when I went for my annual physical."

"How far along are you?" Maura inquires.

"About three weeks."

"I see."

"And you?"

"I found out two weeks ago. I'm about seven weeks along."

"I didn't know that you were seeing anyone," Jane admits.

"I'm not. It was... it only happened once, and I think it was a mistake."

"Maura I'm scared out of my mind."

"I know."

"How did this happen? How did I let this happen?"

Maura shrugs, with a guilty look on her face, "I don't know."

"I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to talk to. I couldn't talk to you, and..."

"You needed me?"

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

"Why didn't you do it?"

"As irrational, as it sounds, the clock on the wall."

"Huh?" Jane furrows her brow.

"The clock on the wall kept ticking. And it reminded me of a biological clock, which reminded me that mine is ticking, and..."

"And?"

"How many more chances am I going to have? How many more years do I have?"

"Good point."

"It's not the right time, or the right situation, but is it ever?"

"So you're not going to go through with it?"

"No."

"You're going to keep the baby?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Jane, it's ok, if you don't want to."

"I don't know if I can do it on my own. I..."

"You've got time to think about it. How did you get an appointment so quickly?"

"They had a cancellation."

"Oh."

"Are you hungry, we could get a bite to eat," Jane suggests.

"I feel too nauseated to eat anything."

"Really? I just want to eat all of the time."

"Have you told the father yet?"

"No," Jane looks away, ashamed.

"Neither have I."

"Are you going to?" Jane quizzes.

"I don't know. It's a complicated situation."

"I know what you mean."

Before the conversation can go any farther their phones ring. They answer them. They talk to the parties on the other line for a few moments, and then hang up. They look at each other, in dread.

"Triple homicide, here we come," Jane frowns. They leave the apartment in separate vehicles.

On the drive across town thoughts whirl around Jane's head. Finally she's told someone. She feels no weight lifted. Maybe, because her friendship is not yet fixed. Or, maybe because she's only telling her friend half of the story. None of it, a good one. She shakes her head, and tries not the think of the sordid details.

Maura slows to a stop at a stop sign. Her thought catch up with her. She sees Jane's car in the rearview. She needed her friend back, but it was going to be a long, difficult journey. She didn't know if she could ever forgive Jane for her betrayal. Maura hits the gas. She wonders if Jane will forgive her betrayal, when she finds out. A betrayal, that proceeded hers. What happened, before Jane killed her father. Something, that could keep them from ever being friends again. Maura feels the guilt already starting to eat away at her.

Jane watches Maura's taillights. She exhales, and follows her through the stop sign, onward towards the crime scene. She knows that she has to tell someone her secret, if she doesn't return to the clinic. She wants to tell Maura, but she's unsure she'll be able to handle the harsh judgment. She feels her guilty conscience beginning to build up.


	3. Wrong

After a long exhausting day at work Maura showers, and heads straight to bed. She falls asleep for a few hours, but wakes up, in the middle of the night. She makes her way into the kitchen. She stands in the refrigerator, just staring at the food inside. None of it looks at all appealing to her. She reaches for a bottle of juice, but then changes her mind. She feels her stomach churning, on empty. Her eyes jump to the next shelf. She notices a bottle, that she didn't put there.

"Why are you up so late?" a sheepish voice asks.

The light flips on. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Maura apologizes.

"It's ok, Maura."

"Are you going to just stand in the door all night?"

Maura takes a step back, and closes the door, "I don't even really want anything."

"I bought some ginger ale today, when I was at the store."

"Oh."

"Maura, have a seat," Angela points to the barstool next to the island.

Maura takes a seat, Angela leans over the counter.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Ok, but I'm here if you do."

"Why did you buy me ginger ale?"

"I saw the look on your face this morning, when I made scrambled eggs. You couldn't get out of the room fast enough. I may not be a medical examiner, or a doctor, or even a detective, but I have seen that look before."

"Oh."

"How long have you known?" Angela asks.

"A couple of weeks."

"Have you decided what you're going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's the twenty-first century, and you're single, and you have an important career..."

Maura sighs, "I thought I had decided, but I changed my mind. I am going to keep it."

"You look pale, you need more iron."

"I don't know how I'm going to do this."

"If you need help, you know that I love babies."

"Angela..."

"Yes?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head, "Never mind."

"I'm really good at keeping secrets, Maura."

"According to Jane, you're not."

"I'm her mother, it's my job to spill her secrets, and embarrass her."

"I see."

"What's weighing on your mind? Obviously something."

"I don't think that I should tell you."

"Why not?"

"What if you can't keep a secret?"

"Nothing you tell me will leave this room."

"Even if it pertains to one of your children?"

"What do you mean?"

"Even if it pertains to one of your children?"

"Yes. You can tell me, anything."

"I made Jane a promise, and... I guess technically I have kept it, but..."

"But?"

"When I made the promise, I had already done what I told her I wouldn't do."

"What are you talking about, Maura?"

"I told her that I wouldn't sleep with her brother."

Maura waits for a second. Angela's eyes widen. She locks onto Maura's eyes.

"I see," Angela comments, "So Tommy is the father?"

Maura doesn't respond. Angela takes Maura's lack of response as a confirmation.

"You don't want Jane to know?"

"He doesn't even know yet," Maura admits.

"That you're having his baby?"

"That I'm even pregnant."

"It's not as if you can hide it from him."

"I don't want to tell him."

"You have to tell him that you're pregnant, at some point."

"But I don't want to tell him that it's his. I know you're his mother, and you love him, but..."

"He's not who you picture having a child with, or spending your life with?"

"He's a good guy, and I know that he deserves to know, but..."

"Things happen, that we don't plan for?" Angela guesses.

"Yes."

"You have to tell him, at some point, don't you think?"

"Yes, at some point."

"I won't tell him. If you decide that it's best not to tell him, then I will honor that. I don't agree with it, but it is your decision. That being said, I doubt that you will be able to keep him from figuring it out."

"I know."

"What are you going to do about Jane?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to tell her?"

"How can I? She'll kill me."

"Are you two even speaking to each other?"

"I am still angry with her, and I have not entirely forgiven her, yet."

"But?"

"She's my best friend."

"I think you should be honest with her. Lying to her, is not going to repair your friendship, in fact it would be a good way to end it."

"I just need time."

"Don't take too much time. Jane reads people."

Maura smiles, "That she gets from you."

"She'll never admit that."

"I..."

"You're scared?" Angela guesses.

"Yes."

"That's ok. Everyone is," Angela reveals.

"Angela?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what this means, right?"

"You're having a baby? I'm excited for you. You're going to be great."

"Not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"You're going to be a grandmother," Maura points out.

Angela's face lights up.


	4. Wrong One

Jane comes into the morgue, as Maura looks at a microscope.

"Anything?"

"It's a carpet fiber."

"Any matches?"

"Lots," Maura looks up. She grabs a file, and holds it up in the air, for Jane.

Jane flips it open, and looks through it. "What you're saying is that it's a generic mass produced carpet, that is widely popular?"

"Yes," Maura confirms.

"Great."

"Do you want to grab lunch?" Jane questions.

"I doubt that I can eat anything, but we can try."

"Great, I'm starving."

They grab their coats, and head to the main floor. Jane drives them to their usual spot. The waitress takes their orders, and they sit, and chat.

"So have you decided what you're going to do?" Maura wonders as she sips her ice water.

"Not yet."

"Did you tell Agent Dean?"

Jane looks away, and slowly shakes her head, "No."

"You're waiting until you decide?" Maura guesses.

"I... yeah," Jane replies. Her half truth weighs heavy on her conscious.

Maura picks up on the tension, as she watches Jane, who avoids her glance.

"I just assumed that it's Agent Dean's."

"I know."

"It's not?"

Jane looks up, from the table. She looks at Maura, "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I don't know."

"Oh."

"I am a terrible human being. I was stupid, and careless, and this is what I get."

"What happened?" Maura furrows her brow, in confusion.

"After that night, Gabriel headed back to D.C. I was... I needed someone to talk to, and I couldn't talk to you."

"Casey?"

"Let's just say, it's someone else."

"You don't want to say who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Do you have a preference?"

"I don't want to tell either one of them," Jane dodges the question.

"Do you have a preference as to who it is?"

"I don't care. I don't know whether it's relevant, or not," she responds, leaving out several important details, and one very large secret.

"Is that why you haven't decided what to do yet?"

"Partially. It's not a good reason. I made some very poor choices. I acted irresponsibly. I have never done that before. I mean...I'm not that kind of person."

"It's ok."

"No, Maura, it's really not."

Maura filters her thought, to keep it from coming out. She mutes her medical knowledge, and tries to listen attentively to her friend.

"I have my first doctor's appointment, next week."

"Who's going with you?"

"No one."

"No one? You should have someone there, it's important."

"Would you like to go with me?"

"If you'd like. Jane, I have to tell you something."

"What?"

Maura chickens out, at the last minute, "I told your mother."

"About me?" Jane's eyes widen.

Maura shakes her head, "No, about me."

"What did she say?"

"She was incredibly understanding."

"Maura? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You know who the father of..."

Maura cuts her off, "Yes," she confirms. She sends Jane a quick look, after looking around the room, to remind her that they are in public.

"Why haven't you told me who it is?"

"I thought that you should have time to process your own information, before dealing with mine."

"Is it someone I know?"

"Does it matter?"

"I was just curious. Besides, how did this happen to you?" Jane wonders.

"What do you mean."

"You're a doctor, and you..."

"Are you asking me if I planned it?"

"You don't have accidents," Jane reminds her.

"I am human too," Maura reminds her.

"Ok, then explain to me, how it happened."

"It was human error."

"Meaning?"

"I wasn't looking for anything. I wasn't planning on what happened."

"Continue, please."

"When he took interest in me, I was surprised, and I figured that it wasn't really going anywhere. I assumed that it would end quickly, and I wouldn't have anything to worry about."

"The relationship, or the sex?"

Maura rolls her eyes, "The relationship."

"Ok, but weren't you on some sort of birth control?"

"I was waiting for an appointment to get it refilled."

"Why didn't you use other means of protection?"

"I usually always do. I would rather be safe than sorry."

"But you wound up sorry, not safe, so what happened?"

"There was a lot of alcohol involved. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"So when you realized that you hadn't used anything, why didn't you go and get..."

Maura follows her train of thought, and cuts her off, "Because I didn't."

"You didn't want to prevent this?" Jane stares at her in complete confusion.

Maura shakes her head, "I didn't realize. I didn't realize until it was too late. The morning I was an hour late to work, because I spent half the night, and all morning with my head in the toilet bowl, I realized. Then, it was too late."


	5. Wrong Man

"Are you going to tell him?" Jane inquires.

"I don't know. I mean he'll find out eventually, I guess."

"And when he does, then what?"

"Then I'll deal with the consequences."

"Why don't you just tell him, and be straightforward?"

"Why don't you tell yours?"

"I'm not going to tell someone that I might be having their child, when I might not be having one at all."

"You still haven't decided?"

"You want to have a child, I don't."

"It's your choice," Maura responds, trying to appear impartial.

"I don't want to have to make one, at all."

"You have to."

"Why does this have to be so hard? Why is this happening to me? I'm..."

"You're a grown woman, who can handle this."

"It doesn't feel that way," Jane admits.

"I know."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Maybe you should start by telling the truth," Maura suggests, knowing her own words will come back to bite her.

"I don't know if I can."

Later on, that day, as Maura climbs into bed, for the night, she finds herself wrestling with her choices. She slides under the covers, and tries to get situated for the night. After an hour, she's still wide awake. She rolls over, and reaches for the phone. She dials a familiar number, the party on the other end answers after three rings.

"What's up, Maura?"

"I'm sorry to be calling so late, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Maura, it's only eleven o'clock. I'm not asleep yet."

"Oh."

"What's on your mind?"

"Tommy..."

"Yeah?"

"Maybe I shouldn't have called."

"Maura, what's going on?"

"I need someone to talk to."

"I thought that you and Jane are finally on speaking terms again."

"We are."

"But?"

"I can't talk to her, not about this, not yet."

"Ok, what's up?"

"I'm... I've gotten myself into a little situation, and I don't know how to handle it."

"Handle what?"

"I'm afraid that if I tell your sister the truth, that she'll never be able to forgive me."

"Ok. How bad can it be? I mean she's forgiven me, and I've done a lot of stupid things. I'm sure that it can't be that bad."

"It can."

"Ok, spill."

"I'm pregnant," she reveals.

"Oh. Jane doesn't know? I don't think that's something you can hide from her."

"She knows that I'm pregnant."

"Ok. What can't you tell her, then?"

"The rest of the story."

Tommy takes a moment to process this, "Oh. She doesn't know?"

"No. I never told her."

"I see."

"You are much calmer than I thought you would be."

"Some things are worth getting upset over, and some are not."

"What do I do?"

"Don't lie to her."

"I don't want her to know."

"Just tell her that you don't want to talk about it. Dodge the question. If there is one thing that my sister hates, it's a liar."

Jane takes a seat, on the couch. She flips on the TV, with the remote. She flips through the channels. She flips from the news, and lands on a pamper's commercial. She turns off the TV, and decides to head to bed for the night.

She heads to her bedroom. She places her firearm, and her phone on the bedside stand, next to her. She pulls the covers over her head, and closes her eyes. Just as she's about to fall asleep her phone vibrates. She reaches for the phone. She glances at the caller ID. She reads the screen of the phone, and places it back on the bedside stand. She rolls over, in an effort to avoid the caller, at all costs.

As her eye lids close, she slowly begins to drift to sleep. She pictures him, as she dreams. Agent Gabriel Dean. Someone she could be happy with. Then Casey pops into the picture, another possible happy ending. Then a processional of all the other men in her life, her brothers, Korsak, her father, and finally, Frost.

She violently returns to consciousness. She sits straight up, in her bed. Her blankets are all kicked off the bed. She pants, trying to regain her breath. She tries to clear her mind, of all remnants of the nightmare. She stares at the clock. It tells her that her nightmare has been a marathon that has played all night, because it's already morning. She turns off her alarm clock, due to buzz in twenty minutes, and she heads for the bathroom.

When she reaches the bathroom she strips off her clothes, in an attempt to escape from her own cold sweat. She turns on the shower, and waits a few seconds for it to warm up. She steps into the shower, after grabbing a clean wash cloth. She pulls the curtain behind her. She starts off with her hair. As she massages her scalp, she attempts to relieve the tension headache that is already building up. She watches as the shampoo circles the drain. She prays that her worries will wash down the drain, along with the shampoo. She soaps up, and continues in her morning ritual. She stops, dead, when she reaches her stomach.

She swallows the lump in her throat. She exhales, and tries to move on to another part of her body, but it proves futile. As the hot water runs over her body, all she can focus on is her stomach. There are not yet any visible changes. No one could tell, just by looking at her. No one would be able to look at her, and know about her little situation. But, she knows. She shakes her head, and allows her eyes to fall onto her toes. Her painted toenails.

As she stares at her toenails, thinking about redoing them, a picture pops into her head. For a brief moment, she sees a face. The face of a brand new baby. She turns off the shower, pulls on towels, and bolts for the toilet. Her stomach contents violently hurtles into the white porcelain bowl. As she sits on the cold tile floor, still wet, from her shower, wearing only a pair of towels, her thoughts run wildly. They completely break free of her control. She does her best to think about the situation. Instead she focuses in on the toilet bowl. She begins to ask herself, when the last time she cleaned it, was. She feels herself beginning to obsess. She begins to hyperventilate, between bouts of nausea.


	6. Wrong Number

She pulls into Maura's driveway, five minutes later than agreed, realizing that the moment Maura gets into the car, the reaming will begin. Maura walks out of the house, and jumps into the passenger seat. She looks at her watch, and then looks over at Jane. Her open mouth quickly closes. Jane puts the car into reverse, as Maura buckles her seatbelt.

"I know, I'm late. I'm sorry, I got tied up."

Maura recovers from her state of shock. She takes a second look at Jane. Jane looks terrible. Her hair is still wet. It is pulled into a ponytail. Her clothes match, but look as if she's slept in them for days. Her face is pale, and there are dark circles under her eyes. Upon closer inspection Maura notices a couple busted blood vessels in Jane's eyes. Jane weakly grips the steering wheel. Maura quickly realizes that she is nearly shaking.

Without taking her eyes off the road Jane asks, "Why are you staring at me?"

For a brief second Maura wrestles with telling the truth, or lying. She decides to opt with the truth, "Because you do not look well."

"Thanks for noticing, but the show must go on."

"You don't have to come to my appointment, with me."

"I told you that I would. I don't say I'm going to do things, if I'm not."

"You look terrible."

"I apologize. I'll try to look more presentable, tomorrow."

"I didn't mean it like that?"

"What did you mean?"

"You should stay home," Maura responds.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I have to go to work."

"Jane you look sick."

"I am sick, but I'll get over it."

"People are going to notice."

"I'll tell them that it's the flu."

"They'll tell you to go home."

"I'll say it's food poisoning."

"Food poisoning rarely lasts more than a few days."

"Maybe this will only last a few days. I feel much better now."

"Where's your coffee?"

"I didn't feel like it, today. I've already got a headache, and I didn't have time to make any."

"Didn't have time, or couldn't stomach it?"

"Maura, stop with the interrogation, already, ok?"

"Ok," Maura agrees.

"Let's just get this over with."

"Ok," Maura agrees, shifting her glance. She stares out her window, as Jane drives.

"Maura?"

"Huh?"

"Are you nervous?"

"About what?"

"About all the things that could go wrong?"

"I've already spent a few sleepless night on that."

"And?"

"It doesn't matter, because it's all out of my control."

"So if it comes out with two heads, you'll be ok with it?"

"I won't be ok with it, but I'll deal with it."

"You're braver than I am."

"I have waited a very long time for this. I didn't picture it happening now, or like this, but it did, and I can't change that. I can wait for the perfect guy, and the perfect time, but... they might never come."

"You don't know if twins run in your family."

Maura furrows her brow, "Why do you bring it up?"

"This morning, as I was throwing up, I had a lot of time to think."

"And?"

"All of a sudden I started freaking out, because..." Jane stops, abruptly.

"Because?"

"Twins run in my family. Two aunts, my grandfather, and half a dozen cousins are all twins."

"On your mother's side, or your father's side?"

"Does it really make a difference?"

"I was just wondering."

"My father's. I just keep picturing twins. I don't want this. I don't want one kid, let alone, two."

"Fraternal, or identical?"

"Identical."

"Oh," Maura attempts to keep her sudden state of panic hidden.

"I can't do this."

"Make another appointment, and I'll go with you."

"Ok," Jane agrees.

They pull into a parking space. Jane follows Maura into the doctor's office. After fifteen minutes they call Maura back. After ten minutes of waiting in the exam room the doctor comes in. Jane sits in the corner, attempting to focus on anything, but Maura.

"Let's have a look," the doctor smiles.

Jane stares at his tie. After a few moments Jane looks at the screen. Maura stares at the ceiling.

"So are you two partners?" the doctor questions.

"No, just friends," Jane corrects, as she tilts her head, to get a better look at the screen. She elbows Maura.

"What?"

"Why aren't you looking?"

"I..." Maura tries to come up with an excuse.

"Maura, I think you should look at the screen," Jane suggests.

"Ok," Maura agrees. She looks at the screen, in front of her. She sees what Jane sees. She says nothing.

"I'm a cop, not a doctor, I am no expert, but it looks like there are two blobs, there," Jane says aloud.

The doctor smiles, "You are correct," he reveals.

Maura says nothing. Her face becomes incredibly pale.

"Dr. Isles are you ok?"

"Um..." she glances at the screen, and swallows hard, "I think so. I'm just a little surprised."

"Dr. Isle's it looks as if you're having twins. Congratulations."


	7. Wrong Answer

Angela is in the kitchen, when Maura returns from work. Angela stands over a pot of boiling water. Maura places her purse on the island, and takes a seat on a stool, in front of the island.

"How was work, today?"

"Work was fine."

"You look exhausted."

"I am."

"Did you take any vitamins, today?"

"Yes. However, I have been informed that I am going to have to increase my vitamin intake."

"And why is that?"

Maura sighs. She digs into her purse, and pulls out some black and white photographs.

"I went to the doctor today," Maura reveals.

"How did it go?"

"You should see for yourself, I am still in disbelief," Maura admits, waving the sonogram pictures.

Angela takes the pictures from her. She studies the first picture carefully.

"Are there two of them?"

Maura nods, "Yes. Apparently, I am having twins."

"That's wonderful."

"I..."

"You what?"

"I am going to go for a walk."

"Don't go to far, dinner will be done in twenty minutes or so."

"Ok," Maura nods, in agreement, as she heads for the door.

Maura only makes it as far as her car. She climbs in. She turns the car on, and begins to drive. She finds herself at Jane's apartment. She knocks on the door. Jane opens the door.

"What?"

"Can I come in?"

"You look like a spider monkey, on crack, what's wrong?"

"If that's your way of saying I look anxious, I am."

"It is. Have a seat," Jane points to the couch.

"Ok," Maura agrees.

"What's wrong? Are you still freaked out about having twins?"

"Yes."

"That's why you're here?"

"Yes, and no."

"Ok. What's going on?"

"I need to tell you something."

"Ok," Jane takes a seat on the arm of the couch.

"I did something, and..." she trails off.

"And what?"

"I made a mistake."

"We all make mistakes."

"I don't want to do this on my own. I don't know if I can."

"I know. It's scary."

"Jane... I'm going to need a lot of help, all the help that I can get."

"I'm sure my mother has already offered her help."

"She has."

"And I'll be glad to help you, although I have no clue what I'm doing."

"That's the thing, I'm afraid that you won't want to."

"You're my best friend. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you don't know the whole story."

"Ok?"

"I haven't been entirely truthful with you."

"About what?"

"There is a reason that I didn't tell you who the father is."

"I just assumed that you were protecting him."

"I was... I was protecting me."

"From what?"

"Your wrath."

"My wrath? I don't understand."

"I betrayed your trust."

"Maura, what are you talking about?"

"You asked me not to sleep with your brother."

"I remember."

"But, when I promised that, I already had."

"You slept with my brother?"

"Yes," Maura admits, guiltily.

Jane locks eyes with Maura. She feels the pit of her stomach twist into knots, "You're pregnant," Jane swallows hard.

"Yes," Maura nods.

"With twins," Jane adds.

"Yes."

"My brother's twins?"

"Yes."

"I can't believe you. I can't believe that you would sleep with my brother, after I specifically asked you not to."

"I didn't. It happened before."

"Why?"

"It's not like you think."

"He used you. He uses everyone in his life. But, you should have known better."

"It's not like you think."

"Really!" Jane replies in outrage.

"It wasn't just a one night stand. It was more than that," Maura reveals.

"It was more than one time?"

"It was, more."

"More?"

"We were dating."

"Dating? You were dating my brother? Are you freaking kidding me? Didn't you think that I had a right to know?"

"I wanted to wait, until I knew it was going to work out. There was no need to upset you, if it wasn't going to work."

"You're pregnant!"

"I ended it. I realized how much it would hurt you, if you knew, so I ended it," Maura telsl her, with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Are you crying?"

"No," Maura lies as a tear trickles down her face.

"You are. Why are you crying?"

"You're the only friend I have," she answers.

"That's not why you're crying."

"I..." Maura tries to wriggle out of the situation.

"You love him?"

"It doesn't matter, now."

"You love him, but you broke it off with him, because you were afraid that you would lose me as a friend?"

"I didn't know. I thought I would get over it."

"Have you?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Does Tommy know?" Jane wonders.

"Yes," Maura confirms.

"I'm going to kill him."


	8. Wrong Reason

Jane storms out of the apartment, before Maura can stop her. When she reaches Tommy's she doesn't even knock. She uses her key, and opens the door. She finds him sitting on the couch, playing x-box. He takes one look at her, and knows that he's in trouble.

"Nice of you to knock," he starts out.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Did you know?"

"Know what?" he scrutinizes her.

"That Maura's pregnant?"

"Yes," he confirms.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just found out."

"You got her pregnant. You were sleeping with my best friend. Tommy that is..."

"I'm sorry," he apologizes.

"That isn't going to cut it, this time."

"Ok."

"Do you love her."

"No," he responds candidly.

"Dammit, Tommy!"

"I think you should go home, and cool off, ok?"

"I don't know if I can."

"I'm not the one you should be mad at."

"And who should I be mad at?"

"Never mind. Just, please, go home."

"What are prepared to do? She's pregnant."

"I know that. She can take care of herself. She doesn't want anything from me. I have nothing to offer."

"Typical," Jane flares her nostrils, and storms out, in an effort not to murder her brother, on the spot.

1 week later; Jane leaves the precinct early. She finds Maura in the parking lot. Maura drives her to the clinic across town. Jane keeps checking the rearview.

"Paranoid?" Maura questions.

"I feel like we're being followed."

"Jane, don't be ridiculous. No one is following us, ok? Just calm down."

"Ok," she nods.

Finally they arrive at their destination. Jane is whisked into a room rather quickly. Maura sits, and reads a magazine. She hears heavy footsteps. She smells a familiar smell. The smell of cheese steak, and used clothing. She looks up, and finds a familiar face looking down at her.

"Where is she?"

"Korsak, what are you doing here?"

"Where is Jane? I knew she was hiding something. I just didn't realize that it was this."

"Korsak..."

"Tell me where she is. I need to talk to her."

"You followed us here?"

"Yes. Where is she?'

"Room three," Maura admits.

He exits the waiting room, and heads into the hallway. He finds room three, and knocks on the door.

"Come in," Jane answers, expecting the doctor, as she sits on the table wearing a paper gown.

Korsak turns the knob, and enters the room. Jane gaze remains fixed on the tile floor, until she notices the worn brown shoes. She looks up, and finds Korsak standing in front of her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I followed you here."

"Why?"

"You haven't been yourself lately, and now it all makes sense."

"You shouldn't be here."

"Jane you're making a mistake."

"That is your opinion."

"Do you really want to do this? You're going to have an abortion because you're scared, and you don't know who the father of your unborn child is?"

Her pupils dilate as her eyes remain glued to his face. She swallows hard, "What makes you think that..."

"Jane I know."

"No, you don't."

"I know. He told me."

"Who?"

"Who do you think?"

"Oh."

"I know this is a tough situation. I know you're scared, and you don't know what you're supposed to do."

"Korsak, I respect your opinion, but I have to do this."

"Why?"

"I am not cut out to be anyone's parent."

"That is what everyone says."

"Most people are right."

"Jane, you will regret this."

"It's my choice."

"Maybe, but I know you. I know you believe that every woman has the right to make up her own mind, but... this isn't right for you. You will feel guilty about it, for the rest of your life. I know you, sometimes better than you know yourself. That's why I also know that you are going to be an amazing mother. You're going to surprise yourself."

"I think that you should go."

"Why don't you ever listen to me?"

"I..."

"Just listen to what I'm saying. I know that you don't want a kid. You never had, but neither did I."

"Look at how that turned out.""I never wanted to be tied down, by a kid. Now I wish that I had tried harder, that I had made more sacrifices, and been a better parent."

"You..."

"It's not about biology. It's about being there, when your child needs you, plain and simple."

"What if I can't be."

"You will be."

"Being a cop is the only thing that I'm good at."

"Don't sell yourself short. First of all you are an excellent cop. Second of all, it isn't the only thing that you're good at. You are good at a lot of things."

"What if this isn't one of them?"


	9. Wrong Question

"What are you really afraid of?"

"Telling them."

"Or are you afraid that you'll have to choose, between them?"

"That, too."

"What if you choose the wrong one?"

"Exactly."

"And when your child is born, it doesn't belong to the one that you're with?"

"Then what?"

"Jane do you love them?"

"Which one?"

"Either of them?"

She shrugs, "I don't know."

"You will."

"I'll know?"

"I could tell you, how this is going to go, because I know you, but I don't want to ruin the ending."

"Ok, if you can tell the future, tell me, whose baby am I having?"

"That's not my department. I don't know that."

"I..."

"Jane, you may regret not having a child, but you will never regret having one."

"That isn't true. A lot of people regret having children."

"Yeah, but you're not one of them."

* * *

><p>Six weeks later:<p>

Jane walks into the morgue. Her blazer is unbuttoned, and there are dark circles under her eyes. She looks over, at Maura, who conceals her truth behind a lab coat.

"Maura are you ready for lunch?"

"Yes," she nods. She washes her hands, and hangs up her lab coat.

"What are you wearing?" Jane questions.

"A dress."

"I haven't seen you in anything but scrubs, for a month."

"I know, but I like dresses."

"And heels?"

"I'm going to wear them, until my feet swell up so much that I can't any more."

"Maura you look pregnant," Jane points out, staring at her baby bump.

"I know. I am tired of trying to hide it. I'm outnumbered, two to one. I'm past the first trimester, and... there is no reason to hide it any longer."

"Ok. Let's go."

Maura follows her out of the morgue. They get onto the elevator.

"I forgot my phone, at my desk," Jane reveals.

"We can stop and get it. You never know when murder is going to call."

The elevator stops, and they get off. Jane makes her way into the squad room. She makes a beeline for her desk. Frankie, Frost, and Korsak sit at their desk. Jane looks up, and finds Korsak looking at her. When he sees her looking back, he looks away. Frost's eyes meet hers for a moment, but quickly look away. She turns to walk back to the elevator, and notices that Frankie's eyes are locked on Maura. He stares at her in confusion.

Jane rejoins Maura, and ushers her back onto the elevator. They finally reach the ground floor. Frankie is standing in front of the elevator, when the doors open. He pants, out of breath.

"Why are you standing there?" Jane wonders.

"Maura, we need to talk," he replies, with a serious look on his face.

Maura nods, "Jane, go ahead, I'll meet you over there."

Fifteen minutes later, Jane takes a sip of her water. She checks her watch, as she sits at her usual booth. She hears footsteps. She looks up, expecting to see Maura. Instead, she sees a face that she's not expecting.

"Casey!" She smiles.

"Mind if I have a seat."

"Go ahead."

"I can't stay long, I have a meeting to get to, but... I was wondering, if you would like to have dinner with me."

"I would."

"I'll pick you up at seven thirty?"

"I can't, Casey."

"Why not?"

Jane thinks of Maura's bravery, and decides to follow suit, "It's complicated," she admits.

"You always have been."

"I'm pregnant," she admits.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"No, that's great news, congratulations. Whose the lucky guy?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It's not me," he points out.

"But if he's not in the picture..."

"Casey, I still have a lot of things to sort through. I haven't told anyone, other than Maura, yet. I wish the circumstances were different, but now isn't the time."

"Jane, I don't care who it belongs to. I want you."

"That's flattering, but..."

"If you're a package deal, now, I'm not afraid."

"I need more time, to figure all of this out."

"Understood. Keep me in mind, ok?"

"Ok," she nods.

She watches him walk away. Before she can become consumed in thought, her phone rings. She expects it to be Maura calling her, so she answers without checking the caller ID.

"Rizzoli," she answers.

"You've been avoiding me."

"Gabriel?"

"You sound surprised. I thought that you were screening your calls."

"I... I have been."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to talk to you."

"Why not?"

"I don't think that this is a conversation that we should have over the phone."

"Why not?"

"Because, it's not."

"I thought that we were going somewhere, and then..."

"You left," she points out.

"And you won't return any of my calls."

"Things have been chaotic, lately."

"Anything new?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"I don't want to do this over the phone."

"So I'll send you a pair of tickets, and you can come see me for a couple of days. We can catch up."

"I don't want to see you."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to start something, that I can't finish?"

"Jane, what are you talking about?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh. Is it mine?"

"No," she lies.

"No?"

"I don't think so."

"You just downgraded from a solid no, to you don't think so, which is it?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"It could be, but it might not be, too."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to fly in, and try to rescue me. I don't need rescued. I just need time."

"You could be having my child."

"Could be."

"Jane I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I..." she pauses for a moment, "I'm not there yet," she admits.


	10. Wrong Choice

Jane pays her tab, and leaves the bar. She heads back to the precinct, and attempts to find Maura. As she waits for the elevator her partner approaches her. He looks at her, as the elevator doors open. She steps forward, and he gently grabs her arm.

"Wait," he insists.

She takes a step back, "If you want to keep your hand I suggest that you let go."

"Fine," he lets go, "but I want to talk."

"About what?" she questions.

"First of all, how long have you known?"

She feels her blood pressure rise, as she tries to settle her own nervous energy, "Known what?"

"That Maura is pregnant?"

"A few weeks, why?"

"Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"You didn't know," he shakes his head, in disbelief.

"Know what?"

"About Maura, and your brother."

"Know what about them? Barry, Maura told me that she's having Tommy's baby."

He scrunches his face, "She did what?"

"She told me that she was having Tommy's baby."

"Oh."

"What did you mean?"

"Nothing, never mind."

"Frost, what's going on?"

"You haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what? She left your brother broken hearted. He loves her."

"No, he doesn't."

"How would you know?"

"Because he told me."

"That doesn't seem like him."

"I confronted him."

"When?"

"I went over to Tommy's apartment, right after Maura told me."

"Jane, I think that you should talk to Maura."

"Ok," she heads towards the elevator.

"But you're not off the hook."

"Off the hook?" she asks from inside the elevator.

"I still want to talk to you."

"Ok," she agrees.

When she reaches her floor the elevator doors open, and she steps out. She pauses, when she sees Frankie, and Maura in the morgue. She sees her brother gesticulating, through the glass. Maura shakes her head. Frankie's face is red, with anger. Jane can't hear what they're saying. Maura attempts to walk away. He grabs her wrist. She whirls around, and pushes his hand away. She looks at him, in disgust. For some reason she looks up. She sees Jane. Jane sees her lips move. Frankie looks at Jane. He nods, and walks away.

He quickly leaves the room. He rushes past Jane. He pushes the elevator button in frustration, trying to flee the scene.

"Whoa! What was that all about?" Jane quizzes.

Frankie looks at her, anger written across his face, "I don't want to talk about it."

"What were you arguing with Maura, about?"

"Nothing," he clenches his jaw, and flares his nostrils.

"Nothing? That was something."

"Let it go. Just stay out of it, ok?"

"I can't. She's my best friend. You're my brother."

"Jane, for once in your life, could you just keep your nose out of other people's business."

"I could arrest you right now for assault and battery."

"You have got to be kidding me. She's fine."

"Really," Jane looks at Maura, through the glass, "Does she look fine?"

Frankie glances backwards, he finds Maura sitting behind a desk, crying.

"Just stay out of it. Give her some space, dammit!"

Jane walks away. She heads into the morgue. She finds Maura hiding behind a computer, sitting on an office chair. Jane approaches her, slowly, and cautiously.

"Are you ok?"

Maura sniffles, and wipes the tears off her cheeks, "No."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Maura, tell me the truth. Why is he so upset with you? The two of you were having a pretty heated argument, about what?"

"What do you think?"

"He's pissed."

"Obviously."

"Because you slept with Tommy, and he thinks that Tommy is immature, and irresponsible. He doesn't think Tommy is good enough for you, or your kid."

"I... Jane I don't want to do this, not here. We can talk about this, later, when we're not at work. Ok?"

"Ok," Jane concedes, walking away.

When Jane arrives at Maura's her mother is cooking dinner, but Maura hasn't arrived yet. Jane takes a seat, in front of the island, on a barstool.

"Did you see what Maura wore to work, today?"

"I did."

"Frankie blew up at her, earlier."

"I know."

"You know?"

"He had some words with me, too."

"About what?"

"About knowing. He thought that I should have told him, because I am his mother, and he could understand why Maura might hide it, but for me, it is inexcusable."

"He feels out of the loop?"

"You really don't know, do you?"

"Know what?" Jane furrows her brow.

"Think about it."

"About what?"

"I figured it out, not long ago. I thought you would have too."

"Ma, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do you really think that Maura would sleep with Tommy?"

"Why not? She's attracted to him. She told me that he tried to kiss her."

"I am sure that he did."

"What are you saying here?"


	11. Wrong Lover

"Jane, Maura is not having Tommy's baby."

"Why would she tell me that, then?"

"Did she? Did she specifically say that she was having Tommy's babies?"

"She said that she slept with my brother."

"Yes," Angela confirms.

"I don't understand."

"She didn't argue, when you assumed that Tommy was the babies father."

"No."

"But did she ever actually say that he was?"

"No."

"I assumed the same thing."

"Did I assume wrong? I confronted Tommy. I went to his apartment. He told me that he was sorry," she pauses, and shakes her head, in disbelief, "and he said that he wasn't the one that I should be mad at."

"Ma, what is going on?"

"Two weeks ago, I found a receipt, at the bottom of the laundry hamper. It was for a restaurant. I remembered seeing them, at a restaurant, together. I thought that it was strange, because it looked like they were on a date."

"Who? What are you talking about?"

"Jane put all of the pieces together."

"She slept with my brother," Jane reiterates.

"You have two," Angela counters.

"She's not having Tommy's baby," Jane swallows hard.

_Earlier that day. They get onto the elevator, and she leads him into the morgue. She closes the door behind him. He flips on the light. He glares at her. She takes a step away from him._

_"Maura, I don't even know where to begin. This is ridiculous."_

_"Frankie, calm down."_

_"Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down? You're pregnant."_

_"I know."_

_"I thought things were going well, until you ended them."_

_"I know."_

_"And now I find out, that you've been hiding this from me. How long? How long have you known?"_

_"Does it matter?"_

_"Maura, how far along are you?"_

_"Fourteen weeks."_

_"Are you serious? Unbelievable."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"You should be sorry. Why didn't you tell me? Didn't you think that I would have a right to know? Didn't you think that you should tell me? What were you thinking? Did you think that you could hide it from me?"_

_"I made a mistake."_

_"Why didn't you tell me? Give me one good reason."_

_"I have a lot of reasons."_

_"Name some."_

_"I was scared. At first, I didn't know what to do."_

_"And?"_

_"I didn't want Jane to know."_

_"What are you so afraid of her for? If she's your best friend, it shouldn't matter."_

_"I know, but I made a promise to her."_

_"This happened, before your promise to her. What we had... I don't know why you would just give it up, just like that."_

_"It wasn't just like that."_

_"That's not how I remember it."_

_"How do you remember it?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`_

_December 4th, 2011_

_He's in her bed, under her smooth, golden colored Egyptian cotton sheets. The room is light by candles. He holds her in his arms. He brushes her hair out of her face. He watches as the candlelight illuminates her face. He holds her tight. _

_She exhales. She feels as if her heart skips a beat. Her hand is gently gripped around his arm. Her head rests on his chest, as they lie beneath the sheets, naked. He kisses her. _

_"You should probably go. Your mother will freak out, if she finds you here."_

_"I'm not worried," he tells her._

_"You should be."_

_"I don't care if she knows about us, I love you," he reveals, for the first time._

_She tries to get loose. She pulls the sheet around her. She looks at him, holding herself up, with her palm on the mattress. _

_He notices the look in her eyes. He sees her expression fall. She refuses to look him in the eyes._

_"Maura, what's wrong?"_

_"I can't do this. I can't lie, anymore."_

_"So, don't."_

_"I don't want to do this, anymore."_

_"Do what?"_

_She stares at the band of his watch, "I feel like I'm betraying her trust."_

_"Maura, let it go."_

_"Frankie, we can't do this, anymore. I don't want to do this, anymore."_

_"I tell you that I love you, and..."_

_"You should leave."_

_"Fine," he grabs his stuff, and storms out.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_She stands before him, in the morgue. She wears a shiny gold dress, and matching heels. Her face looks a little rounder. Her breasts look larger. He focuses the most, on the tightest part of the dress. He stares at the expanding, round stomach. Without thinking, her hand drifts to her midsection. It stops, to rest on her stomach._

_"What makes you think that this is ok?"_

_"That what is ok?" she asks him._

_"For you not to tell me. I had a right to know."_

_She bites her bottom lip, and shakes her head, "I don't know."_

_"Maura, you should have told me. I had a right to know."_

_"I know."_

_"You're pregnant, with my child."_

_She squirms, knowing that she's in too deep to lie now. She comes back, with a bitter dose of the truth, "Children," she corrects._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"There are two of them. I am having twins."_

_"Unbelievable. It just gets worse, and worse. Who else knew?"_


	12. Wrong Guess

"She's having Frankie's baby?"

"Yes," Angela confirms.

"Why wouldn't you just tell me that, in the first place?"

"Because I think that she was afraid."

"Afraid of what."

"That you wouldn't forgive her."

"Forgive her, for what?"

"Breaking her promise, only worse."

"That's crazy."

"She slept with your brother."

"Do I really hold onto grudges that long?"

"It's more than that, Jane. She feels as if she betrayed your trust."

"She did."

"So did you."

"What do you mean?"

"By shooting her father."

"We have both made mistakes."

"And she keeps making them, because she values your friendship."

"You mean, not telling him?"

"Jane, I think that she loves him."

"Oh," Jane's heart drops into the pit of her stomach.

"Oh? That's all you have to say?"

"I think..." _I'm going to be sick, she tells herself. _"I should go," she says aloud.

She excuses herself, not waiting for Maura to return. She throws up in the bushes on her way to the car. She jumps in her car, and heads home.

When she arrives home she flips on the light, locks the door, and heads to the shower. She tries to wash her troubles down the drain. She dries off, and pulls her hair of the way. She pulls on some pajamas, and heads to the couch to veg out, in an attempt to forget about the previous events of the day.

She crawls under a blanket, and flips on the TV. She's nearly asleep, when someone begins knocking on her door. She gets off the couch, and unlocks the door. She opens it, without checking the peephole. She stares at the person on the other side of the door, in shock.

"What are you doing here, Frost?"

"I told you I wasn't going to let you off the hook."

"Ok."

"Are you just going to let me stand out in the hallway, or can I come in?"

"Come in, I guess."

He steps in, and she closes the door behind her.

"What do you want to talk about."

"I think that you know."

"I suppose that you want me to guess."

"Jane, I want to talk about..."

She cuts him off, "I don't. I don't want to waste time talking about it."

"I think that we should."

"I don't, end of discussion."

"Just like that?"

"You should go."

"Ok, then. I'll leave, and we can just keep pretending."

"Keep pretending, what?"

"Keep pretending that nothing is different."

"Nothing is different."

"I love you."

Jane stares at him. She stand in front of him, frozen. Her arms are folded across her chest. They fall to her sides. She swallows hard, trying not to feel sick.

"You should go," she tells him, unwilling to hear him out.

"Fine," he relents, and lets himself out.

Once he leaves she locks the doors. She turns off the TV, and heads to bed. Hours later she awakens to a bout of nausea. After nearly an hour of violent outburst she stops. She leans up against the bathtub. Her back rests against the outside of the tub, and she draws her knees to her chest. Her pajama's are sweat stained. Her hair is pulled loosely into a bun. Her feet feel frozen, even on the warm, plush throw rug in front of the bathtub. She hugs her knees to her chest, and cries. She is so consumed by her own thoughts, her own guilt, that she doesn't hear anyone come in.

She stops, in the doorway, and stares at the scene before her. It's just after seven AM. Jane sits against the bathtub, sobbing. Jane sobs so loudly that it would be impossible to hear anything. She hesitates, for a moment, considering turning around, and letting herself out. The maternal instinct in her kicks in, and she moves forward, instead of backwards. She closes the lid on the toilet, and takes a seat.

Jane looks up, realizing that there is someone in the room with her. She finds Angela sitting quietly, on the lid of her toilet. Jane stares at her mother, through tear filled eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you. I thought maybe I could make you breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Not hungry? There must really be something wrong."

"Ma, now is not the time," Jane warns her.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"It looks like more than nothing."

"Looks can be deceiving."

"Tell me what's going on."

"I can't."

"I get the feeling that this isn't about Maura, is it?"

"She's offered a nice distraction."

"A distraction, from what?"

"My own, mess of a life."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," she lies.

"Nothing, I know better than that. Jane, tell me the truth."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because, you're my mother, and you wouldn't understand."

"Not if you choose not to open up to me."

"I made a mistake."

"That's ok. We all make mistakes."

"You don't understand."

"Make me understand."


	13. Wrong Try

"I don't want this. I never asked for this. I should have changed my mind, when I had the chance. I can't do this," she rambles.

"Do what?"

"I'm not ready to talk to you, yet."

"Ok," Angela nods.

"Ok? You're not going to argue."

"I'm always here if you need me. And if you're not ready to talk to me, I can respect that."

"Since when?"

"Since now," Angela answers, letting herself out.

Jane dials work, and calls in sick, for the day. She takes a shower, and climbs back into her bed, with a wet head. Sun pours in through the window, but she doesn't feel like embracing the sunshine, today. She pulls the curtains, and stays in bed. She chooses to wallow, instead of dealing with the problem, at hand.

The thoughts spin, in her head. _I don't want a kid. What kind of mess did I get myself into? I should have known better. I don't even know whose baby I'm carrying. I... I'm never going to be able to forgive myself. Maybe, I should make a different choice. I'm not cut out to be anyone's mother. I can't even take care of myself. I screwed up. I know better. I don't want to drag anyone down with me. I don't want to sentence anyone else to a life of misery._

Before her thoughts can go any further her phone beeps. She opens her eyes, and rolls over. She looks at the phone. It's an alarm reminding her that she has a doctor's appointment to go to. The doctor's appointment that she put off making for over a month. She peels herself out of bed, and forces herself to get dressed. She doesn't bother to dry her hair.

She waits twenty minutes before the doctor comes in to see her. Finally he arrives, and she waits nervously, at the edge of the table. He talks her through what he's going to do. She nods, but ignores him for the most part.

She stares at a picture on the wall, as he squirts gel onto her stomach. It's green, like mint jelly. He moves the probe around her abdomen. She expects a blob to appear, just like Maura's. An uncharacteristic blob. She refuses to look at the screen.

She forces herself to try and block out all related thoughts. Then she hears it. She looks at the doctor, as the sound fills the room. She locks eyes with him. He looks at her, through thick, silver rimmed glasses.

"What is that?"

He smiles at her, "That's your baby's heartbeat."

"Oh."

"See," he points to the screen, zooming out, "that's your baby."

She looks at the screen, for the first time. Her blob looks like a tiny baby shaped blob.

"At what point can I..." she trails off.

"We often recommend an amniocentesis for high risk pregnancies. High risk being considered any woman over the age of thirty five."

"Right."

"We can perform it as early as eleven weeks, but generally wait until eighteen. It can tells us a lot of useful things. Any congenital anomalies, as well as gender..."

"Can you determine paternity?"

"Yes. We use it to determine paternity more often than you would think."

"So when can that be done?" she questions.

"In about eight weeks. You're about ten weeks and two days."

"Ok."

"If you stop by at the receptionist's desk, you can make an appointment on your way out. Do you have any other questions?"

"No."

"The nurse will be in with your prescription, and some print outs."

"Print outs."

"Do's, and don'ts, as well as pictures of your baby."

"Thank you."

Maura arrives home, shortly before dark. She's been home less than five minutes, when someone begins to knock on her door. She opens the door, and finds Frankie standing in the rain.

"What are you doing here."

"I want to talk to you."

"Ok."

"Can I come in?"

"Ok," she steps back, to let him in.

He closes the door behind her.

"Where is ma?"

"She's still working."

"Oh, good."

"Good?"

"We can talk, in private."

"Ok."

"I'm sorry for the way that I acted, but you have to understand where I was coming from."

"I do. I should have told you, you were right."

"Maura, I know that you are loyal to my sister, that she's your best friend, but..."

"But, what?"

"Could you please give us a chance."

"Give me a reason."

"I'll give you two," he answers, placing his hand on her stomach.

Her eyes meet his, "Please give this a chance. I love you."

She takes a step closer to him. "Ok," she agrees.

He moves in. He kisses her. She kisses him back, and doesn't push him away. Instinctively she moves for the buttons of his shirt, he moves for the zipper of her dress. Her hands fall. She pulls away. He looks at her, searching her eyes for an answer.

"I don't think that we should," glancing briefly at her stomach.

"You don't want to?"

"I didn't say that," she responds.

"You're self-conscious."

She doesn't answer.

"I love everything about you."

"But..." she begins to argue.

He presses his lips to hers, and refuses to hear her argument. She lets down her guard, and gives him a chance.


	14. Wrong Assumption

Sunday May 6th, 2012-

Jane climbs out of bed, to her ringing phone. She answers, with a yawn. After listening to the voice on the other end she hangs up, and heads into the closet. She stares at a wall of clothes. She looks at herself, for a moment. She wears a pair of boxers, and a Harvard t-shirt. Under the sea of fabric, her bump is nearly hidden. She pulls out a pair of pants, a stretchy shirt, and jacket. She chooses once again to go with black.

For two months now, she had agonized over how to hide this from every one. She wanted to reveal the news on her terms, in her own time. She peels off her shirt, and puts on a bra. She pulls on a pair of pants, and then stops. She stares at her round stomach. She presses her hand to her stomach.

"I can buy more clothes, but, I think it's time, don't you?"

She pulls on her shirt, and jacket. She runs a comb through her hair, and leaves the apartment. She heads off to her crime scene.

Three hours later, she finally makes it back to the precinct. She stops off at her desk, and finds everyone staring at her.

"What?" she raises an eyebrow.

"It's your turn to make a coffee run," Frost informs her.

"Ok. I'll go," she agrees, even though she hasn't drank coffee in months. She leaves the squad room, and catches the elevator. She makes her way in to the cafe. She finds that it is unusually empty. Angela stands behind the counter, tidying things up.

"Ma, I need the usual."

"Janie, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, make it quick, I have to get these drinks back to them."

"Is there a reason you're not drinking coffee anymore?"

"I'm trying to survive, without caffeine."

"Oh," Angela gets the coffee ready.

"I have something for you, by the way," Jane tells her, pulling an envelope out of her pocket.

Angela trades Jane the coffee, for the envelope. "What's this for?" she questions looking at the pink envelope.

"Think of it as an early mother's day present."

"Mother's day is next week."

"That's why it's early. I wanted you give you the best mother's day present."

"What is it?"

"You'll just have to open it, and see."

"Is it a sappy card that's going to make me cry?"

"It might," Jane admits, "You might want to wait until you get home to read it."

"Ok," Angela agrees.

Jane returns to the squad room with hot beverages she passes them out, and there is a brief moment of silence.

Korsak is the first to speak, "You left your phone on your desk," he tells her.

"Someone call while I was out?" she wonders.

"Maura has something for you," he informs her.

"Ok," Jane nods, and leaves the room.

When she arrives at the morgue Maura is waiting on her. She enters the room. Maura looks at her, with an unusual expression on her face.

"Close the door," Maura tells her.

"This isn't about the case, is it?"

"No."

Jane stares at Maura's large, round stomach. Maura snaps her fingers.

"Can I have your eyes up here, please?"

Jane nods, "What's going on?"

"I have been withholding some information from you."

"You have?"

"We found out the gender of the babies."

"I know, ma told me."

"We didn't tell her what they are."

"But you told her that you were going to tell her what they were, on mother's day."

"Yes."

"She already told me that."

"Oh. There's more."

"They're conjoined?"

Maura furrows her brow, "No," she shakes her head.

"What then?"

"Frankie, and I, have been seeing each other. I know that you don't like it, but I thought that you should know."

"Maura, I think it's great. Besides, I already know."

"You do?"

"Ma told me that, weeks ago."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I wasn't going to bring it up, unless you did."

"Oh."

"You know that he's been ring shopping."

"What are you talking about?"

"I guess that you don't," Jane smiles.

"How do you know that?"

"How do you think?" Jane counters.

"Your mother."

"She is not good at keeping secrets."

"Apparently not. Are you hot?"

"Why are you asking?"

"I'm burning up. They still have the heat cranked up, even though it's almost sixty five degrees outside."

"I hadn't noticed."

"Why are you sweating?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Why are you interrogating me?"

"Why are you wearing your jacket, if you're hot?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Jane..."

"What Maura?"

"You're still pregnant?"

"I never told you that I wasn't. You just assumed that. Just like I assumed that Tommy was to blame for that," Jane points to Maura's stomach.


End file.
